Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
