i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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