i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
