dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
