turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
