I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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