I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
