I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
