Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
