so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
