3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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