I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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