i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
