wat bout pragnant strippers??
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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