I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
