So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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