the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
