She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
