Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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