someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
