anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
