we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
home. puking in laundry basket.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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