Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
