I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
