wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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