turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
