you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
