How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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