And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
