i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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