We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
