today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
