don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
