You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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