i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
