it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
