I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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