YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
