I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
