Do you still have your period?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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