Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
