Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
