Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
