i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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