Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So much rum. So many feels.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
