My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
