Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
