I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
