btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
don't judge my taste in strippers
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
