Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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