Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
