if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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