yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
